Deep hypnotic trances are not required to remove phobias, fears, depression or even anxiety – people change all the time even without therapy. I once read a book and it changed the way I viewed the world permanently and I know of one gentleman who used to be shy and one day happen to watch “The Matrix” and now he finds it easier to talk to people – and to think people pay money to some therapists who make them re-live their problems over and over again by talking about them and they still don’t get better!

It can be understood through NLP that we actually create our problems by experiencing the world and then deciding what it all means. For example when someone sees two people laughing and thinks “they’re laughing at me” and then feels bad about themselves, only to find out later on that it wasn’t about them at all but about a completely different situation – then feels better because the bad feeling dissolves. If only they realised that with their neurology they created the thought in the first place and then created the bad feeling inside themselves and if they wanted to they could have just gone over and made friends instead. They just didn’t have that option because of the way they decided to experience the world. But its not their fault because we didn’t get taught at school about how to use our brains to change the way we feel or experience the world. Of course some things are outside of our control but unfortunately most of the time people are slaves to their habitual thought patterns.

Now instead what if you had a way of choosing how to experience your world, a way of choosing how to feel inside – how to feel great most of the time? So that you can do the things you want in life and feel good about it? Like going to work, feeling more relaxation and less stress, more confidence in dealing with people or just feeling happy for no particular reason? That’s the business I’m in. So like me, the developers of NLP helped people to change without formal trance or sleep like states. You too can change the way you feel, pull out of depression, clear away the dark clouds and just feel good – because this is how I help my clients so that they can train their own brains to give them a clearer and happier experience of the world. Now when you want to learn to have a better experience of the world without your problems and just want to get on with life and move towards a brighter future and that’s when you’re ready to give me shout so that we can work together to get you moving towards all the things you really want in life then contact me for a 1 to 1 session so that you can walk out at the end just feeling much better.

Athletes spend hours imagining carrying out a challenge perfectly and getting their brains to focus on exactly what they want to achieve before they go on to win races or gold medals etc. People often use phrases like ‘I can smell victory’ or ‘I can see myself doing that’. And when they use this type of sensory language it indicates that they are actually using that specific sense as part of their imagination process.

The fact is that we use our imagination like this all the time and it helps us to get where we want to go. Unfortunately many of us concentrate on negative things and we tend to get them and then wonder why. We usually do this unconsciously though, or without being aware that we’re actually imagining something in great detail by using all of our senses.

It’s not just about ‘positive thinking’ alone. It’s about focussing on the exact things that you want to do or have happen and knowing how you’re going to do them. So concentrate on the things you want not the the things you don’t want.

I use an easy way of goal setting that works really well. The key is to have fun whilst you’re using your imagination and enjoy all of the good feelings that pop up during the imagination exercise. Here’s an example about getting a new job, it has a few steps in the process:

Break the task up into smaller more manageable parts

• Decide on what kind of job you want.
• Write a C.V
• Buy the relevant newspapers or magazines and then search through them for the job you want. Search through online websites
• Apply for the jobs that interest you. That includes phoning the companies up or filling out application forms etc.
• Rehearsing for interviews or mock interviews with friends
• Attending interviews
• Negotiating terms
• Accepting the job!

You may have more or less steps than I have in my example and that’s fine because you know how much you can manage. And if it becomes overwhelming then break up the tasks into more subtasks.

Imagine completing each task in vivid detail.

Make sure you imagine doing the task in the future exactly at the time it needs to be done. And imagine it exactly the way you want it to turn out, in every detail. When you complete a task in your imagination you might find that it feels good to have done so (even though it is imagination hold onto that good feeling for a while).

You may find that one of your senses is stronger in your imagination than the others and that’s fine too. Some people may have more of a feel for the task or talk to themselves about exactly what they are going to do. And it’s all acceptable as long as you know you have a detailed sense of exactly what needs to be done in each task.

By the time you finish imagining all the tasks you’ll end up having a movie in your mind with all the details of how to carry out your goal right to completion. It may seem as though this exercise takes some time and at first it may take a few minutes but with just a small amount of practice you’ll find that the more you use your mind like this the better it feels and the quicker you can do the whole process each time. You may even find that once you get good at it the whole process happens all by itself. Effortless!

Now you can make a list and each item in the list is fully represented in your mind so you know exactly what to do. All you have to do is one small task at a time and then just tick it off the list when you’re done.

He said ‘It’s like I sabotage myself almost every time’.

So I explained to him how not achieving his goals could actually be meeting some of his needs, hence the self-sabotage.

Sometimes when you don’t achieve a goal it’s because you are preserving something in your life that achieving that goal might have taken away. These hidden benefits are, by definition, outside your conscious awareness. Once these hidden needs have been met then achieving the intended outcome becomes a whole lot easier.

My friend wanted a job that paid a higher salary so I asked him to apply for a job that had twice the salary he was already on. He accepted my suggestion wholeheartedly and even believed he was worth more than that.

A week had passed and he’d still not applied for any higher paying posts. When I asked why, he said that he didn’t know. So I showed him how to uncover what might be aiding in his procrastination.

There is a simple question we can ask ourselves that can uncover our hidden priorities or benefits. And when we can meet these previously hidden needs in other ways then our goals becomes easier to achieve.

Here’s the question:

i.e. What would not happen if I got this new job?

or what would stop happening if I got this new job?

Keep writing down all the answers that come to mind until you can’t think of any more. Aim for around at least ten answers but it’s fine if you have a little more or less than ten.

Example answers:

‘I would no longer be able to leave work early on a Friday’

‘I would no longer be able to work from home on Mondays’

‘I would no longer have two hour lunch breaks’

‘I’ll actually have to do some work!’

The answers you’re not consciously aware of usually surface after you’ve asked yourself the question several times.

Now you can meet these needs in other ways. You may, for example, decide that you’d rather have extra money from the new job rather than the extra hour for lunch you get in your current job.

You’ll probably find that one of your answers is a major need that is met by your current situation.

i.e. ‘I’ll actually have to do some work!’

You might have mastered your current role so well that you’ve created a major comfort zone for yourself. Your current job has become easy for you because you’re so good at it and hence laze around in your comfort zone all day. Accepting a new role might mean breaking out of your comfort zone and having to master a new set of skills.

Funnily enough this was the answer my friend gave me. But after thinking about it for while, he decided that it wasn’t the amount of work but the fact that he’d have to learn lots of new skills for his new job.

Finally he fully thought through some possible options:

Increased income with some temporary discomfort settling into the new role

Or, remaining comfortably in his current job but with a lot less money

The imagined pleasure he’d get from the all the extra money motivated him to go for a new role. He applied for a new job and was accepted for an excellent role with a lot more money.

Of course there are other ways that people self-sabotage and I’ll be covering those in future articles but meanwhile why don’t you try out the question for yourself.

Do you have any behaviours or needs that are currently outside your awareness that might be slowing you down in achieving your objectives?